Odiferous Odors

Riley after a particularly horrific spat of gaseous fumes....

Hi G-Fans!

Another Friday night...

Tonight I thought it would be important to talk about something that seems to go unaddressed all the time.  It is a subject that is generally taboo.

GAS.  

Not the kind for your car.  The kind that dogs are frequently blamed for, but often aren't at fault.

The kind that used to drive the whole house for gas masks because Raphael would have it so bad.

Noxious Fumes.

I bet dogs are blamed more often than not for bad smelling farts as a ruse.

Tooting.

Tonight the concierge blamed me for cutting the cheese.

I am thoroughly offended.

I may have an occasional royal release.  But that doesn't mean I should get blamed for all horrible smells.

Flatulence.

Raphael used to do silent but deadly farts all the time.

Then the concierge changed everyone's diet to a grain-free diet and the air quality has been much improved around here.  Tessa and Raphael are both smelling sweeter these days because of the switch.

Wind.

Breaking wind.

No matter what you call it, it isn't pretty.

And I am pretty.

Very pretty.

And even if there was a squeaking sound of my butt cheeks allowing air to escape and then an odiferous odor wafted through the air..... 

It was merely a coincidence.

IT WASN'T ME!

Royal folk just don't do such common things.

It is vulgar.

So, that is it, I would like to recommend that the concierge check her own nether regions for the source of the offensive odors and stop blaming me.

Period.

End of story.

Done.

Finis.

Good night.

Ciou!

-G